CROSSROADS sangandaan 1st Edition

 

In human development, 21 years is the stage of adulthood, matured enough to understand and to make intelligent decisions in life. In terms of education, one must already have a college degree and in today’s “new normal” one is legally allowed to go outside his house. CROSSROADS started with a handful of residents, and slowly increasing as the years passed by.  In 2016, Crossroads had 54 residents, the highest population in its history. Now, Crossroads helps an average of 40-45 residents a month.  Alongside its growth in population is the increase of Crossroads personnel too…another cause for rejoicing.

Resiliency… CROSSROADS, like any other institutes for treatment and rehabilitation, has   experienced a lot of crises and challenges: number of residents per month, psychological stresses on the part of its human resources, facility transfers, financial conditions, to name a few.  However, CROSSROADS remained steadfast against these odds and determined to carry on its mission and vision towards optimal life.

Transforming lives… instilling change to people to become the best they can be is no longer just a job but has become a vocation. Mental health is a complex discipline and living in a complex world makes this ministry more difficult and challenging. After the residents’ temporary stay at Crossroads, the clinical staff continue to assist them to a lifetime sobriety, their ultimate dream. Crossroads becomes their support system, together with their biological families and loved ones.  Thank God, majority of our graduates are able to maintain their sobriety and are reaping success in their respective lives. As long as we have faith in our program and the people we serve possess the same belief, transforming lives is indeed possible and we have many living proofs to this claim.

Together with a resilient heart we will work together as a family and will bring CROSSROADS toward the THIRD DECADE with the commitment to achieve an OPTIMAL LIFE for those people we vowed to serve and likewise to all of us resilient workers in the CROSSROADS community.

Let us move forward and work together as one like a bamboo swaying yet standing proudly amidst storms and challenges. CROSSROADS H.O.M.E for Recovery Foundation, Inc. is and will always be here to stay and serve.

Maria Leah Sheila S. Rebecca
Program Associate

From the heart of tatay… 

Fr. Clifford G. Gavina, MSHR
President & CEO

Life has never been this good…

As we celebrate CROSSROADS’ 21^st Foundation Anniversary, we welcome with deep gratitude our new endeavors:

Ø  CROSSROADS C.O.R.E. (Central Office for Resiliency and Enhancement) – to better respond to the needs of the people God has entrusted to Crossroads’ care, this office focuses on the professional growth and ethical aptitude of its human resources as well as on the solidity and steadfastness of Crossroads as a service provider across time and condition;

Ø  CROSSROADS ABBEY – a place where individuals can give themselves an opportunity to uniquely encounter God away from the comforts of their home.  It is a place where praying and working with the Mother Earth will set the pace of their communion with Him, through the guidance and inspiration of Our Lady;

 

Ø  CROSSROADS H.O.M.E. for SKILLS DEVELOPMENT – in partnership with TESDA, this program will help individuals of various ages to equip themselves with practical skills that may give them economic rewards and thus may improve the quality of their earthly living;

And of course, this very first edition of Crossroads Newsletter  - SANGANDAAN where residents (graduates and current) are welcome to put in print significant stories of recovery and sobriety, established brotherhood and family bond at their temporary home, the Crossroads H.O.M.E. for Recovery.  This newsletter also welcomes insights and other forms of literature from other recovery stakeholders like the prodeps (the residents’ biological families) and the clinical staff who are generous accompanists and support system of the residents.

Life at Crossroads has never been this good….in a new facility with enough space and greens.  For us, this is a sign not only of growth but also of grace.  God has always been with us in our commitment to people’s recovery program.  And truly it is humbling to realize that God has already brought us, Crossroads family, this far…not necessarily leaving behind but bringing with us valuable lessons beneath stories of challenges and difficulties. Footprints in our hearts these stories have become.     Gratitude, though comes from our heart, is and will never be enough.  We hope and pray that a sense of consistency and vigor will also help us keep the fire burning. 

CHEERS to us all, Crossroads family!  Cheers for the years of service and family ties!  Let us not pause from here, for God will definitely bring us further and beyond!

God is compassionately generous. 

Now and forever. 

Our Lady of the Holy Redeemer, pray for us.

Amen. 

Gratitude Amidst Adversities...

Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.  Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills, don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom”. Earl Shoaf.

Amazed…shocked…. frightened…wandering…. the feeling of mixed emotions during my first step at CROSSROADS.  How will I work in and deal with this kind of atmosphere and surroundings….me, being used to work in a religious environment?  But mind with its nature always in state of bewilderment in life.  Body follows the mind ceremonious.  Since I decided to accept this job, I will have to do it.  I can make it!  New surroundings…new situations…. way different and apart from what I had been accustomed to work with twenty years ago… I needed to go to the beginning of the mind and thought to change its gear forward or backward depending on what I am facing now.  I needed to balance and change gears in mind to take me towards a positive happening and away from negative reactions while mingling with the people who are suffering from and dealing with various adversities.

Through the span of time that I have been working for Crossroads, I must admit that I had several setbacks that really challenged my physical and emotional capacities.  There were tiring days to the point of being drained and stressed.  However, amidst all these struggles and challenges, I was blessed for the opportunity to blend with different people amidst their own hardships.  And thankful for I believe that this is a favor…. a gift…a benefit…. thus I shall use my gears appropriately.

First, I recognize the occurrence of a gift, favor and benefit.  Second, the more I value a gift, the more gratitude I tend to experience.  Third, when I recognize the goodness of the giver, this enhances the likelihood of grateful experiences.

Accepting all that, I am really grateful to Tatay of Crossroads (Fr Clifford).  Grateful for accepting me, for trusting me, for giving me the opportunity to be a part of this family that directs my gear to move forward.  It hones me to improve and to be more effective and shapes me to become better and better each day.  I feel a deep sense of appreciation, something that fills me with joy and emotion. It is more than saying thank you because it truly moves me to the core and makes me appreciative of what I really have rather than what I don’t have.

I once felt an abandonment and asperity for I have to perform multiple tasks, but with the help of some of the family I managed to accomplish all that has to be done. It changed my perspective because it is the single most powerful source of inspiration that any person can tap into if he simply just stops and pays more attention to beauty in its simplest form, and to the miracles of life.

There will always be critics and obstacles along the way, but if we dare to believe in ourselves, there are actually no limits and boundaries to what you can achieve.  As what Rhonda Byrned said, “Never let a day pass without looking for the good, feeling the good within you, praising, appreciating, blessing and being grateful.  Make it your life commitment, and you will stand in utter awe of what happens in your life.”

Thank you Tatay!  Thank you Crossroads Family!

Gigi Mariñas-Mutuc
Head, Crossroads C.O.R.E.

                      

My Experience in Crossroads                            

As a practicing psychiatrist for about 20 years, the experience of being a psychiatry consultant for a drug rehabilitation center through half of my psychiatry life made me realize that the problem of addiction was much more complicated and challenging, in real life beyond what the books would tell you. 

I had seen a 14 y/o boy admitted for addiction to computers to the point of assaulting his own mother, a 63 year old man, admitted for the nth time due to his alcoholism, his wife and children gone, his sister resisting the urge to abandon him, his job abandoned long ago. Across the life span, from the very young to the very old, addiction’s consequences are extreme – destroying lives, homes, families, jobs, careers, the futures of their children and involving violence, crime, suicide and homicide. 

Addiction to drugs like marijuana and shabu, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc. are often associated with other psychiatric or mental disorders like bipolar disorder, depression, psychosis, ADHD, personality disorders and post-traumatic stress disorder. Treat one and not the other would just put the addict (or patient) into a vicious cycle of repeated relapses. This is not to mention all the other forces that make the addiction alive and accessible to anyone who desires it and the suffering that families go through in dealing with the person with addiction.

Such a daunting and formidable task we might say. But there is always hope.

The process of rehabilitation is not brief nor easy and often long term. It requires an adequate number of trained addiction counselors, therapists, nurses, social workers, psychologists and support staff to implement the program among the residents (individuals with addiction/behavioral problems). It requires an adequate ratio of residents to staff and an optimal number of residents in a facility since too many or too few would make the program ineffective. The goal of rehabilitation is to bring back these individuals to a level of adequate functioning – in self-care, in interpersonal relationships, in occupational tasks and be useful members of the society in general.

And that is where Crossroads rehab facility makes a difference. I’ve been with this facility for over 10 years and have known Fr. Clifford and his staff that long. I’ve seen their dedication, their commitment, their compassion, their respect, their ethical behavior and sensitivity to each individual’s specific needs. I’ve seen their continuous quest for learning, attending addiction workshops, participating in trainings to further enhance their knowledge and skills in what they do. I have admired their selflessness and sacrifice knowing fully well that there are hazards to the job. What propels them in their work is the service that they provide and their joy in seeing a resident embark on the road to recovery.

The method of intervention or the process of rehabilitation provided in Crossroads recognizes the uniqueness and importance of each individual admitted into the facility. Aside from the method of TC (therapeutic community), a more eclectic approach is applied. A thorough assessment is made including the necessary psychiatric evaluation with its recommended treatment. Once another psychiatric disorder is diagnosed, monitoring and strict adherence to the recommended treatment like medications are carried out. Of equal importance is their alliance with the family and the sessions or meetings done with them as well. I have seen also how spirituality has been integrated into their method of rehabilitation and how this has made a difference in the lives of individuals. Additional strategies for rehabilitation like livelihood initiatives and schooling have been included. The facility continuous to evolve, to improve, to innovate, to respond to the needs of its residents. And so, we are like partners in this endeavor, to lead, to accompany, to assist, to support the individual and his family in rehabilitation and recovery.

Eleanor L. Ronquillo M.D.
Psychiatry consultant, Crossroads
Psychiatry consultant, The Medical City
Fellow, Philippine Psychiatric Association

God’s love is truly marvelous and mysterious in many ways. 

I was a catechism teacher of public and private school students in Nasugbu, Batangas for many years.  I looked at it as an opportunity to challenge myself in bringing Jesus to all of them and for them to be able to acknowledge that they are precious, special and God’s beautiful children. Time has come that I had to say goodbye to this ministry and thought of wanting to experience another face of Jesus hopefully in the peripheries as the Holy Father stressed out in his message to all the clergy and religious to really go out from our comfort zones.

My superior once asked me if I was willing to work in a rehabilitation center. Spontaneously I said yes because of the prospect of working in a ministry I am not familiar with. But it could be my subconscious telling me that it was an unfinished business.  Back in college, I was afraid to be exposed to a mental hospital and/or rehabilitation facility. The idea alone made me uncomfortable. After the meeting with my superior, anxiety grew within me. I even asked myself, “why now that I am in my senior status? And to God I asked, “Lord, what are you telling me to change.” I do believe that if God will give you an opportunity this is for your conversion. He wants you to change and to become a better person.

Working here at Crossroads rehabilitation center is truly amazing. I am able to conquer my fears and negative attitudes towards people who are addicted to substance. It is really a change of heart as I have learned and continue to learn how to put things in proper perspective. Respect, admiration, care and love are just some of the values I have learned to wear upon listening to the colorful and interesting stories of the Crossroads’ residents.

It is truly a humbling experience. They teach me how to appreciate and control my emotions. God indeed has His own way of making them His special and precious children.  His ways of letting them grow in wisdom and mature responsibly is a grace I am privileged to see each time I am with the residents.   A million thanks to God for allowing me to pass Crossroads by and stay for a time only He can tell.  A million thanks to all, and most especially to the residents of Crossroads for making me realize that there is still so much to learn even now that I am already in my twilight years!

Sr. Mary Lyn I. Pañares, CSFN
Social Worker 

BROTHER JC 

My name is Juan Carlos, and I graduated my Rehabilitation in Crossroads 58 months ago on September 8, 2015. I am writing this letter as per Fr. Clifford’s request, to share my experience to help those who are currently in rehabilitation and struggling from addiction. For me this is my testimony that God is a living God who helped me overcome my addiction.

QUESTIONS ANSWERED

How did I end up in rehab? I was arrested by three soldiers in a session with Psychiatric Dr. I was addicted to methamphetamine and was throwing my life away.

What caused me to end up in rehab? Mental Breakdown, Anxiety Disorder, Addiction,

When was I brought to rehab? Two weeks after 2-week confinement in Medical City Psychiatric Ward, 1^st week of February 2015.

My time in Crossroads Rehab is literally the crossroads of my life when I had to decide to change direction. I was in the middle of crisis during that time. Drug methamphetamine, alcohol, cigarette with bad hardcore lifestyle. No financial savings. That time also I was in the worst relationship with my partner soon wife to be. At that time, I was in the worst relationship with my brother. And that time my family just left our house and migrated to the United States for good.  And I was in mental breakdown due to the situation and my withdrawal from drugs. 

I managed to thrive in the rock bottom through God. And it is my personal testimony. I was supposed to be addicted, breaking down mentally, left by my spouse, daughter and my family, and no career or any kind of bright future. But looking at where I am now, God is so good.

Hi my name is Juan Carlos and I was in a rehab almost five years ago.

 

What did I learn?

AWARENESS

To be aware is to be conscious of the present moment. To be aware is to think neutrally. Not being absorbed by the things we think and feel. To be aware is to be present. To be aware is also to be conscious of one’s own behavior. Clouded by my own thoughts and feelings often I overlook my own behavior.

With this awareness comes the freedom of choice. Being aware that there’s an element of choice, that we can choose to behave differently every time. That we can be better or worse.

What did I gain in rehabilitation?

ACCEPTANCE.  Being aware is not enough. We can be awareness without acceptance may even be worse than not being aware. Because by not accepting the reality and our behavior we willingly deny our chance to make good change.

Peace through acceptance of the things we cannot change. This usually haunts me. One of the reason for my mental breakdown is this. I can’t accept the situation. I can’t accept the thing that I’ve done. The things I cannot change. Only through Jesus do I find my serenity. My assurance that everything is according to God’s will. That I must submit to God’s will. To let God’s kingdom come to my life. Only then do I get my peace.

Faith when I am blind and deaf. My faith was nurtured in Crossroads through constant prayer and meditation. We also had a regular Bible study which even made my faith even stronger through the knowledge of Jesus Christ. It is also faith that made me last and succeed. That even when I don’t realize and see God’s plan my faith assures me that everything is according to His will.

Courage to change the things that I can. I realized that most of the time it is fear that keeps us trying something new. Fear of change and fear of the unknown.  It takes courage to do something. It is fear that freezes me. Through constant prayer we ask for courage. Actually my favorite verse is about courage.

Haven’t I commanded you?

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be discouraged for I the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” 

This verse found me before being captured by soldiers.

Self-Discipline. To do exactly what to do. It is a spirit of power. Being in control of things that I can do and should not do.

CHANGE

Everything changes. The question is it for good or for worse?

SUMMARY

Now I am married with two kids. I’ve been working for our company ever since and we hit just every sales target we set. I’ve been winning over my addiction. I am blessed to serve the church for more than 2 years now, I took graduate school Masters in Business and has one subject left to graduate. I met new friends. And renewed and mended friendship with some old close friends. I go to the gym most of the days. I’ve been active and productive until the pandemic that caused the lockdown happened. That’s for another story of mine. But personally what I’ve been through in Crossroads was a bigger task than this pandemic. It is because of that experience that I became equipped to handle tough situations.

I realized that relationship is the most important aspect of my life. My relationship to God. My relationship to my parents. My marriage. And my children. That everything revolves around my relationship. Relationship to friends, colleagues, and subordinates.  That we need our relationship with our teacher, mentor,

My advice to those who are currently undergoing rehab is do it by heart. Treat the process like your life depends on it because it does.

Hi! My name is A

I was admitted in Crossroads back when I was 25.  I’m 27 years old now, and every time I would look back I’d tell myself, “This is such a memorable place” because lots of changes happened to me here. But before everything and before I was admitted, I was in a dark place, I was very lost – I could not take it anymore so I prayed to God, I asked him:

“God please help me because I don’t know where I am, and I don’t know what to do”.

I lacked purpose in life. I knew I needed help. I was begging Him to help me understand. And then in right timing God put me right where I should be. Even if I was so lost I knew I was in the right place when I was admitted in Crossroads.

This place taught me that if I am determined to make a change, and if I am true to change then everything will follow, everything will flow in the right place at same time. Little by little I began to trust in the process and still “Trust in Him” when things falter because there is always a bigger plan.

I grew allot stronger in here. I have known myself better and became purposely driven. Crossroads for me is a place of peace, healing, and reform. Every time I would reminisce about this place, I’d feel at ease thinking of what and why I was here to begin with, all the mixed memories & experiences that helped me hone me to who I am now.

To my Crossroads family, Thank you! No words can explain the gratitude that I feel towards this community – to all the brothers, the clinical staff, Father Clifford, and to my strong-willed Caseload Adviser, Ate Sheila who helped me understand that change is not an overnight process, that it takes time and struggles so we just have to take it one day at a time. Maturity of the mind and soul comes in time.  We cannot force things to happen because we have phases as humans.

I will be forever connected in this place. I may not be here all the time nor communicating with them as always but what I’ve learned and what I’ve gained here will always be brought with me – the people and place here have become my spiritual family. Till our next meeting.

“God grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen. “

Live, Love, Laugh

By Bro. Yon

Life is simple so do not make it so complicated. Life is easy so do not make it so difficult. Live your life freely and enjoy your life here on earth. To live means to be more energetic. To live means to experience the road because life is a road. It is called a road because it has its ups and downs. It has a plenty of curves. It has a rocky ground.

Life is a mystery. So do not be surprised when something awkward happens because that is part of life. Do not wish only what is good in your life but rather you have to accept also what is bad in you. As a person you have an attitude that is either good or bad.

Love is a beautiful word. Love is always mentioned everywhere, anywhere. To love is not only to enjoy being special but love means to embrace whatever is being given. Love is an easy word but it is not easy to practice. There are three kinds of love: Eros, Filial and Agape. Eros is I love you because I want something from you. Filial is I love you because you are my family member, you are my friend, you are my classmate, etc. and Agape is I love you with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my strength. I love you and I am ready to sacrifice myself for your sake.

Laugh is a good medicine for us human being. If you laugh it means that you are enjoying your life. Your laughing is a sign that you are living your life energetically. To laugh is to lessen the pain that you are experiencing at the moment

So why do I emphasize these triple “L”?  It is because I consider them as important things in my life. I find them here at Crossroads. Through Crossroads, I am able to live life with love, laugh at life’s difficulties and intricacies. 

All the best for Crossroads as it celebrates its 21^st anniversary!  I hope and pray that Crossroads will always be guided by the Divine providence. Thank you for allowing me become part of your life.

Entry 1                            

Ako si Bro. Leopoldo, 50 years old at kasalukuyang naninirahan sa London, England. Malaki po ang naitulong sa aking buhay ng Crossroads H.O.M.E for Recovery Foundation sa pamumuno ni Father Clifford. Sa lumang buhay ko, isa akong tao na makasarili, parusa sa mga magulang, masamang asawa at ama dahil sa bisyo na droga at sugal.  Masasabi kong kumilos ang Diyos na Buhay sa aking buhay noong ako ay nanirahan sa Crossroads. Sa London maraming rehab or counseling na pwede kong pasukan, pero hindi ko nagawa.   Plano ng Diyos ang pagpasok ko sa Crossroads. Kalooban ng Diyos na ipadamang muli sa akin ang pagmamahal niya, ang pagmamahal ng aking magulang, asawa, at mga anak.

Malaki ang naitulong sa akin ng Crossroads sa buhay ko bilang isang katoliko. Noong hindi pa ako kapamilya ng Crossroads masasabi ko na aandap-andap ang faith ko sa Diyos Ama at bilang isang kristiyano. Nang ako’y manirahan sa Crossroads unti-unti akong napalapit sa Diyos. Doon nakita ko ang mga kamalian ko sa buhay at naging maayos ang takbo ng isipan ko. Unti-unti naayos ang mga mali na pag-uugali ko sa tulong ng mga staff at ng mga kapatid ko sa Crossroads, ang bahay ng pagbabago. At ngayon handa na akong harapin ang hamon ng buhay sa tulong ng Diyos Ama at pamilya ko. All glory to God!

Maraming salamat kay Father Clifford, sa lahat ng staff, auxiliary at ang supporting staff, Sa aking Crossroads family, salamat sa inyong lahat! May God bless us all!

(Bro. Leopoldo)

Entry 2                               

            On April 26, 2020 I arrived here at Crossroads. I arrived at noontime and Father Clifford asked me to enter into the dorm of Micah. I was surprised and curious at the same time why the dorm was named after one of the minor prophets. As the days passed by, I came to realize that not only was our dorm had a prophet’s name but the rest of the dorms of all the residents.

            I have five companions in the dorm. They are so good and kind and they make me feel at home. They have become a father, mother, brother and sister to me. Because of that I thank the Lord for this blessing through the presence of the people who are staying with me.

            There was an official welcome ceremony for me after staying in the dorm for three days. While I was quite timid and shy upon seeing for the first time all the residents and staff, I was happy too.  It was a new experience.  It was an unforgettable experience.  This kind of welcoming reminds me about what my teacher used to say: “whenever we leave our homes and our families, we will meet along the way persons who may eventually become our own families”.

            Life at Crossroads is very unique. It can be seen either as a training ground for someone in the military or a formation for someone in the seminary. It has its own way of instilling discipline that is so needed for a soldier, either of the state or of the church.

            The residents wake up at 5:15 am, do the morning prayer and meditation before breakfast. Sessions, group dynamics, classes that are either psychological, spiritual, behavioral, physical well-being, social or intellectual in nature, mostly occupy the day.  Lights off is usually at 9:00 pm.  There is a routine…yet each day is never the same.  I am no stranger to this schedule.  It is as if I am still in the seminary.

            Life at Crossroads is like a cross. However heavy and difficult at times, still we have to learn to carry it well.  After all, this is the road towards renewed and optimal life, towards sobriety and recovery.                                        

  (Bro. Yon)

Entry 3            

Crossroads, an eclectic or multi-disciplinary rehabilitation center has been one of the biggest and most important blessings in my life. It helped me fix the broken connection between me and my family, and most importantly, it restored my faith to God. Crossroads made me realize how beautiful a simple life can be. I will be forever thankful to God that he gave me the chance to bring my life back together again through the help of my family and Crossroads H.O.M.E for Recovery.

            From being a drug addict for almost 3 years to being sober for 5 months, now is entirely not easy. I made drug abuse an escape from my own reality. I thought it was the answer to all my problems. I didn’t know that I was only making them bigger until the day I was admitted here at Crossroads by my family. That’s when I realized that running away from my problems has to stop. The realization was not really sudden, but I came through a proper process to think clearly about what my reality really is. Crossroads guided me through this process. It taught me that life also has its downs, that it’s okay to be sad sometimes, and it taught me to face my problems.                                                                         

(Bro. Sebhastian)

Entry 4                             

Ako si Bro. Reymark labing dalawang taon gulang marami ang pinagdaanan sa magulo at hiwalay na magulang sinubok ng kapalaran dumaan ng hirap at kalungkutan sa dahilan na magkahiwalay ang aking magulang. Natuto sa pagsama sa barkada iba’t ibang uri ng barkada ang aking nakasama mga mabuti at masama mas naalis sa mga barkadang gumagawa ng masama. Sa una masaya halos makalimutan ang lahat ng problemang dinadala hanggang sa natuto pa ng husto, nagsimula na rin sa paggamit at pagtutulak ng pinagbabawal na gamot mas lalong inabuso ang aking sarili pati ang aking magulang ay hindi na inintindi dumating na rin sa puntong nagawa nang pagalitan at murahin ang magulang ng harap-harapan hindi na inisip kung anong mararamdaman ng aking magulang buhay ng binigay nila sa akin ay tuluyan ng nasayang.

Hanggang sa mag desisyon na ang aking magulang na ilayo ako sakanila at ipasok ako sa bahay na hindi ko alam kung ako ba ay matutulungan. Sa una magulo ang aking isipan, sinasabi sa aking sarili, wala akong kasalanan ano ang ginagawa ko dito at lagi ang tanong hanggang kailan akong mamamalagi dito. Sa paglipas ng mga araw at buwan natutunan kong umintindi ang lahat nang mga nangyare pati ang aking sarili ay nagawa ko na din makilala. Kung dati wala akong kinikilalang Panginoon. Ngayon, ang Panginoon na ang aking naging takbuhan sa mga oras ng kalungkutan. Tama nga ang mga kasulatansa layunin sa ng Crossroads ay magkakaroon ka ng kinabukasan.

(Bro. Reymark)

Entry 5             

To the institution and staff that took me in when I was lost. When I was on the lowest point of my life, you helped me to get back on top. You made me feel wanted when I felt that I don’t belong. You allowed me to be who I am. You let me showcase my talents and skills that I thought have been lost due to drug abuse. You trusted me when my world refused to. On my darkest day you allowed me to shine. You taught me life lessons that molded me to be the man I am today. Through you I realized that with God nothing is impossible and through you I know that am no longer alone in this battle and I can overcome my addiction. Today my reality is I’m a recovering addict who’s 365 days clean and sober and I am no longer scared to face the challenges I have in my life. And for that I have you to thank and I’m forever indebted.

(Bro. Chester Kim)

Entry 6

Panahon ang binilang, panahon ang nagdaan, panahon ang lumilipas. Isa ako sa mga taong natulungan ng Crossroads, ginabayan, inalagaan, tinuruan at higit sa lahat, binago ang buong pagkatao. Dito sa center nakita ko ang mga kamalian ko sa buhay, na akala ko dati sa ganoong paraan ako liligaya,tatawa at makakaramdam ng sarap sa buhay pero ang lahat ng iyon ay panandalian lamang. Hindi ko lubos maisip kung bakit ako nagkaganoon, kung bakit nagawan ko pa ng malaking problema ang pamilya ko? pero wala na akong magagawa ang lahat ng iyon ay nakalipas na. Inaamin ko na naging masamang damo ako sa mundong ginagalawan ko pero ipakikita at ipadadama ko na kailanman ay hindi ako mananatiling masamang tao, bagkus, ay haharapin ko ang tunay na laban, tunay na buhay na walang halong kalokohan at walang taong natatapakan. Dito sa center, na-realize ko na anuman ang mga pinagdadaanan ko sa buhay ay hindi dito natatapos ang lahat, na ang bawat isa ay may kakayahang magbago. Gusto kong magpasalamat sa lahat nang tumulong sa akin dito at sa lahat ng taong naging parte ng buhay ko. Maraming salamat Crossroads at tinulungan niyo ako, habang buhay ko itong dadalahin, ang lahat nang natutuhan ko dito. Ako si John Dhenver, nagsasabing ang buhay sa Crossroads ay may kinabukasan!

(Bro. John Denver)

Pag-ibig

(Bro. Matthew)

 

·Sa pag-ibig ay may mga naghihintay at may mga naghahanap.

·Ang pag-ibig hindi mo alam kung kusang darating o talagang dapat hanapin.

·Sa isang oras mong paghihintay sa taong mamahalin mo, isang oras din ng pagkakataon na mahanap ang nasasayang mong puso.

·Ang pag-ibig ay parang pagtawid sa kalsada, maraming maaring mangyari na babago sa takbo ng buhay mo, ng taong mahal mo at ng mga taong nasa paligid mo.

·Bawat hakbang ay isang pagsugal na maaring hindi ka na makarating sa kabilang dulo o pag-asang sa lugar na pupuntahan mo’y may isang taong matagal nang naghihintay sa’yo.

·Mahirap salungatin ang gulong ng tadhana, mahirap kalabanin ang agos ng pag-ibig.

The Quiet Place Inside

(Bro. Raphael)

 

The tangled roots of addiction

began in my mind

when I believe that the world is

a land promising happiness

 

in this world I feel trapped,

surrounded by deep and shadowy

waters of loneliness and despair.

The spiny roots of addiction encased and

squeezed my heart, forcing the

memory of love to fade in the dark.

 

Let me today come to realize

that there is a quiet place inside of me,

a place kept safe for me,

where love lies protected and unharmed.

 

Today my awareness of love shines light

through the darkness of addiction.

The light of love is who I am.

Today I will take time to be still

and listen to the truth about who I am.

 

When I am anything less than joyous,

When I feel a lock of any kind,

When I want something I don’t have,

When I think that peace is impossible,

because of what has happened

or that peace is impossible

because of what has not happened,

I need but remind myself,

That I need to change my mind about time

This instant is the only time there is.

REHAB

(Bro. Jacob)

 

Rehab…isang salita

Na may kakayahang magpasaya

At umantig ng damdamin ng iba.

 

Maaari rin magbigay ng takot… pangamba…

Ngunit higit sa lahat

 Ito’y may kakayahang magbigay pag-asa.

 

Rehab… O tahanan ng pagbabago…

Ito ang mas angkop na tawag dito

 

Naa-alala ko pa ng unang makita ng aking mga mata,

Samo’t saring katauhan

Ang sa akin bumulaga

 

May nakakatuwa, kabigla-bigla

Ngunit ating tatandaan, tao rin sila

At makikitang tayo’y may matutunan rin sa kanila

 

Kailangan ba na katakutan?

Kailangan ba na iwasan?

Kung ating iisipin, ito ang katotohanan

Ito rin ang maaaring maging kasagutan

 

Ibukas ang  mga mata

Sapagkat hindi lang isa,

Kundi marami na ang tunay na nagbago na

 

Malay mo… isa ka dito…

Ang sikreto.. isapuso mo…

At masasabi mo rin

Aba’y totoo nga…

May pag-asa pa.

Ligaw
           (Bro. Ezra)
 

Lagi na lang tumatakbo

Di ko alam kung bakit at paano

Sinusuyod mga eskinita,

Bumibili ng kung anu-ano ba ito.

Minsan mabait,

Minsan matapang.

Nalulungkot, natutuliro.

Kailan kaya sila muling makikita,

Kailan kaya sila muling makikilala.

Sila ba’y kaibigan o kaaway,

O Diyos ko, tulungan mo ako.

Salamat
               (Bro. Leandro)
 
Salamat sa’yo dahil bingyan mo ng kulay ang aking mundo…
Salamat sa’yo dahil natuto akong magmahal ng walang hinihintay na kapalit…
Salamat sa’yo dahil pinaunawa mo sa akin ang tunay na ibig sabihin ng salitang pagmamahal…
Salamat sa’yo dahil nagdulot ka ng pagbabago sa buhay ko…

Milagro
            (Bro. Ezra)
 

Pwedeng Masaya,

Pwedeng Malungkot.

Mahirap man sumabay,

Di ako susuko.

Para sa pamilya ko,

Lahat gagawin ko.

Di ko akalain na ako ay gagaling,

Salamat sa mga dalangin,

At mga payo sa akin.

Aking iingatan ang aking sarili,

Hindi na muli mangyayari,

Tulad ng dati.